Saturday, 4 May 2013

I would not normally...

This week has been somewhat of challenge for a variety of reasons. Emotionally, I am on some sort of rollercoaster, rocketing from one emotional extreme to another often without much warning.

I would not normally yell at the young manager at target. Normally, I would have expected him to honour the "buy 2 shirt, get one free" sign that stood in pride of place above 5 shelves of identical t-shirts. I just would not normally have shouted (very loudly and tearfully) about it. I normally would not have accused him of thinking I was stupid. But I did. My rational self did not go shopping that day. My fragile, hurt self, went shopping. So, I would not normally have then walked aimlessly through the shopping centre, in tears, wondering who the person was that yelled at that poor young man. I sincerely hope that when he finished his shift, he went straight to the bottle shop, bought a six pack (or something stronger) and took it home to drink in honour of the crazy woman who yelled at him. He deserved that much. But just in case he didn't, I drank a very large glass of red that night in his honour, as my way of saying sorry.

I would not normally still be in bed when Hubby goes off to work in the morning. Normally I too would be getting ready for work, and dashing out the door. But I am not. I am still in bed, trying to find a way to drag myself out of bed. Maybe next week I will be up when he leaves. Maybe not, but I'll try.

I would not normally ignore the "out to lunch. Back at 2:30" sign on anyone's door. But I had driven 45 minutes out to the uni to hand in some paperwork. Perhaps if the students had actually been eating lunch, I might not have barged in. But, as they were playing waste bin basketball, and my not-so-normal self was looking through the window in the door, I interrupted their lunch break. Let's face it, their lunch breaks are normally 4 hours anyway. I remember. My normal self went to uni once. Or maybe they should have locked the door. Anyway, I am mostly sorry that I cried when I interrupted them. Would have been way cooler if my mature - normal self had faced them totally composed and apologetic. I am quite sure those two students would have ended up at the Dickson Tradies later that afternoon, drinking in honour of the crazy woman who interrupted lunch. But then maybe they wouldn't have needed the crazy lady as an excuse to be at the tradies anyway...

I would not normally cry when ordering coffee from my local cafe, who know me quite well by now, but perhaps not well enough for tears when ordering.

I would not normally completely ruin dinner. I know, that over cooking pasta creates inedible mush. That is why one does not add the pasta into a slow cook bolognaise. But I did. I probably won't ever do that again. Which is why it is a good thing we live in a society where fast food is on offer. We would not normally eat a 3 piece chicken feed from KFC each. But we did. (And just quietly - I thoroughly enjoyed it.)

I would not normally be at home all by myself for hours on end. It is quiet. Very very quiet. And I can hear myself think too easily. So I have spent the week being occupied in other ways. Walking. Being with my Mum. Drinking coffee. Organising stuff. Maybe this week, I will spend more time at home. Hubby's ban of me watching ER should have expired by now and I have about 10 episodes to catch up on...

And although this week has been a challenge, there have been some bright and wonderful moments.

I would not normally have taken the girls to the Carousel in the city. But last Sunday we did, and the look on their faces, their excitement, made the trip out there more than worthwhile.

I would not normally have had the time to sort through my clothing - and although I didn't get through all of my drawers / shelves, I was successful in taking 25 (yes! 25!!) tops to Vinnies. It helped that I had the time to try them all on. It helps that I have a warped mirror in the bathroom that over accentuates how ill fitting my clothing is. Now I only have 3 more shelves, the hanging rails and 7 drawers, the front cupboard and 2 kids rooms to go. Still, it is a start.

I would not normally by a 500g tub of maltezers from Costco. I would not normally consume it within 3 days. (Hubby helped , but deep down I know, it was mainly me). But then, I would not normally sit on the couch crying either. But this week I have. And Hubby would not normally have to ask which particular thing I am crying about. But I did and he did and wonderful man that he is, he supported me completely, by the providing of mountains loads of chocolate and lots of tea. The maltezers are all gone, but the container was then filled up with easter chocolate (yes, I had some left). I was a little panicked about what will happen when the container is empty - until I found three large blocks of Cadbury chocolate in the bar fridge....

So, as the weekend rolls on through, I find myself starting a knitting project, mopping floors, playing with my children and going for walks with my hubby. Maybe next week, I'll be a little less crazy - at least in public. Or not. Hopefully though Vinnies will have more of my wardrobe, there will still be chocolate in my house, I'll have watched those episodes of ER and maybe drunk a few more large glasses of red wine...

Have a good weekend,

Jen x


  1. It does take a good while for hormone to stop making you crazy. Hugs to you all and don't beat yourself up for being a bit crazy. We all are at times. Love Michelle R.

    1. Thanks Michelle - I can actually see the slightly more humorous side of some of the weeks events :)
      I'm doing pretty well considering - especially the past couple of days. Amazing friends near and far help :)